This Time

 

 

 

 

"Hello, Gary's Mom? This is Mr. Strohacker. Sorry to call you at work. How are you doing tod... 'This time?' Oh, yes, what did Gary do this time? Actually...I was hoping you could tell me.

 

 

"It appears that whatever Gary has done...'this time' - has resulted in me not allowing him to take part in the Outdoor Education experience with his 6th grade class next week. Gary's classmates are pretty upset with me over his punishment. And admittedly, while it might be easier on his teacher if Gary was not going along, even she is concerned about the severity of this punishment. She, too, asked me 'what Gary had done...this time.' And the other parents...a few of them have called and are very troubled over my, uhhh...decision.

 

 

"Anyway, the...thing that Gary has done 'this time.' It sounds pretty serious, and I was wondering if you could tell me... Well, why didn't I just suspend him from school immediately instead of taking Outdoor Ed away from him next week?"

 

 

 

Gary's Mom apologized. She didn't know that he was going to tell everyone that I was punishing him by not allowing him to participate in Outdoor Ed. They had discussed things at home and decided that Gary would tell his classmates that he couldn't participate in Outdoor Ed because he had gotten into trouble. She assumed he would tell them that he was in trouble at home. Apparently Gary felt it would be more believable to his classmates that I was punishing him rather than his parents. He was probably right.

 

 

Gary was a quirky but likeable kid who got into a fair amount of trouble in school. Poor study habits, a slight speech problem, short attention span, a visual learner (he once brought part of his dad's 'anatomy library' to school), occasional language problems (foul language), didn't always get his homework done, but an entrepreneur (it was a long bus ride to school and he had gotten into trouble once for re-selling candy at a 100% mark-up). And Gary was a bed wetter.

 

 

Gary was afraid to be gone overnight for two nights at the Outdoor Ed camp. Bed wetting and being afraid did not fit the image Gary tried to foster among his classmates.

 

 

Disclaimer: Sometimes two wrongs can make something right, but I do not advise any young principals out there to do what I did.

 

After discussing the situation with Gary's parents, I decided to 'back off my punishment.' Yes, I compromised. Gary could participate in Outdoor Ed...but given the severity of his still undisclosed transgression, there was no way that I could allow him to stay overnight. Gary's parents agreed to make a few calls to reassure others that I was indeed just, fair, forgiving,  compassionate..and that they totally backed my 'original punishment' as well as my reconsideration of the situation.

 

 

The other 'wrong'? While Gary's father could pick him up every day from camp after supper, they had no way of getting Gary out there in the morning. So Gary rode the bus to school every morning, and I then drove him out to camp and stayed a while 'to make sure he behaved.' New principals (and old principals, too) - don't ever do that. I was 25 years younger and 25 years dumber when I did this...

 

 

For a dozen reasons this was absolutely the wrong thing to do, but for Gary it was the right thing to do at the time...