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Thursday, August 21, 2008
What Not To Say (aka What To Say - Pt. 2)
By Charles Strohacker @ 8:44 PM :: 146 Views :: 0 Comments :: :: General, Personal, Humor
 
 
Yes, knowing what to say, finding the right words, can be tough at times.  How about knowing what not to say!  Ever said too much?  Do you know anyone who has difficulty knowing what NOT to say?
 
A friend once shared some things his mother had said that caused him embarrassment.  Like telling their server at lunch one day that the server should, for his health's sake, lose some weight.
 
"You sure don't have to ask her what's on her mind anymore - she tells you a lot more than you really want to know."
 
"Ya know Bob, I actually think it's kind of cute...as long as it's your mother."
 
Got him to smile, then it was a chuckle, finally a bit of a laugh.  
 
How about people in your congregation?  Do you have people in your congregation who drive you a little bit crazy with the things they say?  Of course you do.  God is merciful - He didn't put them all in my congregation!
 
Over the years, the folks in my congregations who have too freely shared what was on their mind have been 'Aunt Anne' and 'Uncle Fred.'  Let me explain.  My mom dearly loved her Aunt Anne and Uncle Fred, my godparents, and so did I.  At times though they could be hard for others to take, especially Grandma.  Aunt Anne was a seamstress and always headed her congregation's Altar Guild.  She made all the paraments by hand, exquisite work, but she drove more than a few other guild members (and Pastors) over the edge.  Honestly, one time I heard her explaining about the "number of stitches the Bible mandated" for the paraments on the altar vs. those on the pulpit.  That was my Aunt Anne.  I'm sure you have met her in your congregation.
 
Aunt Anne was also my grandfather's favorite sister, and that closeness extended to my mom and then on to me as well, so I undoubtedly viewed my godmother differently than others did.  In 1970, I bought my first car, a 1964 Chevy Impala, from one of my uncle's salesmen (a bachelor).  The first person I showed that car to was Aunt Anne, my godmother.  Drove right over to her house unannounced.
 
"Chucky, you know what they call a bachelor's car don't you!?" (Read that over, this time imagining a loud, strident voice, somewhat an Edith Bunker type voice but without Edith's innocence.)  Before I could answer...she told me!  And then we both laughed.  Grandma most certainly would not have laughed.
 
Some people, when you look at them, you just have to see 'Aunt Anne' and 'Uncle Fred' because when you do...you can't help but love them.
 
I caught a local 'Aunt Anne' scratching her name off the flower chart at church the other day and then writing her name on a different line. 
 
"'Anne'!  That's why God made erasers!  Change your mind about which Sunday..." 
 
In her very best, shrillest, loudest 'Aunt Anne' voice she interrupted, "I don't do flowers on 'ROCK SUNDAY!'"
 
Well, now you know where 'Anne' stands on Contemporary Worship...and it's never in church on those Sundays.  Her flowers either!
 
 
 

 
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