Have you ever been in a situation where you just did not know what to say or do?
 
As principal, teacher, parent, neighbor, you see someone doing something, and you feel that strong urge to warn them about...  Maybe it is a co-worker, one of the school parents, a board member, pastor, your own child, one of the teachers you supervise.  You've observed someone's behavior or are aware of decisions they've made, you can see impending disaster coming but aren't sure what to do or say.  Sometimes it isn't even your place to say anything.  Occasionally you see something...that you wish you had not seen.  Ever known more than you wanted to know?

 

All of the above can be tough.  Not too long ago I shared some thoughts concerning 'When Words Escape Us' - times when when we don't know quite what to say as well as those times when words literally 'escape us' and we wish we could take them back.   As a young church worker, I'm sure I shared my comments on too many things.  For example, I certainly knew a lot more about parenting before we had children of our own.
 
The early 1980's, maybe 82' or 83'.  A Friday evening.  We probably had supper at a fast food place; Diane and C.J. are now inside Saginaw's Fashion Square Mall while I sit across the parking lot at an automotive center.  I need a new tire on the Volare.  The pretty woman sitting across from me is reading a magazine - a time before cell phones, Blackberries and laptop computers.  Her back is to the shop; I sit looking at her read and beyond, through the large window behind her and into the auto bays.  Just her car and mine in there.
 
They are putting a new tire on my car, but that isn't nearly as interesting as what is taking place with hers.  Looks like the mechanic is cutting off the front shocks with a torch and a bit of hot metal has fallen on top of the right front tire.  Flames.  Now the flames and black smoke are spreading up into the engine compartment.  The pretty lady continues to read her magazine.  More smoke.   Flames, the mechanic is swatting flames with a rag, but it looks like the flames are spreading and he is calling for help.  I think about mentioning to the young woman what is taking place behind her.  Now the rag is on fire.  Someone is lowering the hoist and other mechanics are rushing to help.  But what good would it do to say anything?  Besides, she may panic and run out into the shop - too dangerous! 
 
Pshhhhhhhhtttttt...pshhhhhhtttttt - I can't hear the fire extinguishers, but I am familiar with the sound from personal experience.  She is relaxed, apparently at peace reading her magazine.  She doesn't hear or see what is happening to her car, and I don't feel the need to disturb her or hasten her anxiety.  Uh oh, the paint on the hood and one fender have bubbled up and are pealing.  She will know the bad news soon enough.  What would I say?  "Excuse me, miss.  Uh, your car is on fire.  Sorry."
 
The fire is out now, and the manager is coming in to break the news.  His back is to me, and she is looking up at him - she still has not looked out the window.  I wonder what he will say.
 
"Ma'am, I've got some bad news for you..."  Yep, he is struggling for words.
 
"Oh, is it more than you expected?  (I'm thinking to myself, 'It is more than either of you expected!')  Can it still be finished tonight?"  (I know the answer to that question.)
 
"Well, actually, we had an accident.  While the mechanic was cutting a shock off with the torch, a piece of hot metal landed on your tire."
 
"Was the tire damaged?"
 
"Yes, but we'll give you a new tire for free."
 
"Oh, O.K.  Have you got a replacement tire in stock, or will I have to come back?"
 
"We've got a new tire, but I'm afraid that's not the real problem.  The fire got...larger.  Now everything will be fixed, and you won't have to pay for any repairs.  Our insurance will cover everything."
 
"Fire?  Repairs?  Insurance?  Can it be fixed tonight?"
 
Like I said, I know the answer to that question.  In addition to the fire extinguishers, they are now spraying water into the engine compartment.

"Oh NO!  I mean we can fix some of it, but your car will have to be sent out to be...uhhh, painted.  And we will need to contact our insurance company first..."
 
"Painted?"
 
Now she is looking out the window.
 
"Maybe we should step out here into the shop so I can show you what I'm talking about."
 
Sometimes it is difficult to know exactly what to say.

 

There may be times this year when we will struggle with what to say to someone.  I trust and pray that at those times God will give us the right words to share along with the appropriate measure of courage and compassion.  Perhaps at times it may not even be our words but just our presence that will bring comfort, peace and healing to others.  God bless and be with you during those challenging times.