"Chuck!  I'm so glad you're here.  There is a creature in my back yard!"
 
Cool.  I'm a big monster movie fan, especially old monster movies.  My hopes are up - maybe we've got the Creature from the Black Lagoon out there.  I was at Karen's house that morning picking up Jenny from a sleepover.  Little third grade girls were nowhere to be seen, however, all hiding inside from The Creature.  We went through the house and as we came out onto the deck, Karen jumped backward, pointed at a shadow on the lawn and screamed, "It's on the roof, on the roof!!"
 
She really should have let the girls out in the yard.  Jenny is my fishing buddy, and she would have told her, "Mrs. Mallory, that is a great blue heron on your roof.  Have no fear."
 
Karen wants the creature gone and asks me what she can do about it.  Who can she call to...get rid of it?
 
"You can't do that.  He's uhhh...out of season.  Besides, he won't hurt you or the kids."
 
Turns out Mr. Heron has eaten a couple of Karen's expensive goldfish from that big beautiful pond and waterfall her husband, Bob, built out back near the ravine.  And now, out of season or not, she wants him gone.
 
"You know, even if the DNR did allow you or someone else to...remove the heron, there are many more that will take his place."
 
"More?"
 
"Many more.  Karen, you are practically living in the ravine and, although the landscaping and setting are beautiful, this is still a ravine, and the ravine backs up to those wetlands you like so much, and then into South Lake which eventually flows through the woods behind the dunes, into Middle Lake, on into North Lake and then into Lake Michigan.  What I'm saying is...he and his fellow herons live here in abundance.  It is their habitat - woods, water and fish.  And I think you will appreciate this, the great blue heron is a very politically correct and enlightened 'creature.'  An inclusive, non-discriminatory bird - they'll eat your goldfish as readily as any pan fish or perch over in North Lake."
 
"They won't get rid of the heron even if he...ate one of our ducks?"
 
"Oh, I doubt the herons have picked off any of your adult ducks.  It's more likely that was done by a fox or coyote."
 
"Coyote?  We have coyotes in Michigan?  In our ravine?  But this is a neighborhood!"
 
"Well, yes indeed it is, and out back here, the ravine is THEIR neighborhood.  You may want to keep the ducks in their cage unless you're out here.  Same with the chinchillas, the cat and your pup - all better off inside unless you are out here with them.  You know, if you spread some sand out back near the trail, we can check the tracks and tell if it is a coyote or fox hanging around, but most likely there are plenty of both.  Of course, if you get a really big track that looks like a huge cat paw, you should call Dr. Nelson out at Sarett Nature Center.  He's been following up on some cougar sightings out near Watervliet; they think a large cat of some sort took down a horse last week and...  Karen?  Karen.  Karen, can you unlock the door?  Karen, I still need Jenny - remember, I came to pick her up?  Karen..."