I am indeed a fallen man.  And I'm not just talking 'Adam' here...

Some of you know about the fall  I took several Christmases ago, the one in which I was backing up, dragging the post-Christmas tree across the living room when I tripped and went airborne.  While it wasn't my entire life that flashed before my eyes in that moment, there were certainly more thoughts that raced through my head than I ever could have imagined.  Including, "Now where exactly am I going to land in regards to that tree stand with the large spike that I set out of my way...?"  How surprising that while worrying about impalement I still noticed a spot on the ceiling that I had missed when painting!

Then of course there were the two semi-falls out front, both having to do with ladders and gutters, but those technically don't count because in one my next door neighbor, Dave, came to the rescue and got the ladder back under me.  The other one was, technically speaking, a hang drop from the gutters which I had grabbed onto when the ladder fell away.  The gutters on my house have a rather interesting...alignment.

Last year's fall from the roof onto the deck (after the new, safer, ladder I had purchased slid out from under me) was by far the most serious.  But the upside was that I got my first-ever ambulance ride.  Again, it involved the roof, gutters, and was during the Christmas season.  I think I'm noticing a pattern, and all the outdoor decorations this year are at ground level - no ladders.  Well, except for the lights on the crab apple tree.

By the way, Diane did buy an additional piece for her Christmas village this year - a little bitty ladder and a tiny man.  She has both lying in a snowbank next to one the houses in her village.

Today was our first day of snow this season, actually sleet, so I came up to the building this morning very carefully...carrying two coffee cakes, a box of Christmas cookies, a 24 ounce cup of Coke from the gas station, and my briefcase.  The cookies and one coffee cake were for the ladies who were running our Children's Christmas Craft Bazaar today.   I actually wasn't even walking but more like shuffling, fearful of either foot losing contact with the ground.  All my thoughts were focused on not slipping on the ice. 

Well, it turns out focus apparently isn't what it used to be because once again in my life I experienced seeing my shoes...with the sky as a backdrop.  It truly is amazing how very many things go through your mind in that split second:  "Those shoes really could stand to be polished."  "I hope I don't break any of the cookies."  "Careful not to spill that Coke on yourself!"  "Uh oh, twist to the left so you don't land on that first coffee cake."  "Why did everything go blurry?"  "Ouch, my hi...ELBOW ELBOW ELBOW!!"  "I hope I don't hit..."  "Ohhh, my head..."  "I hope nobody saw me."

Ah, so often that's how it is with the fallen man.  "I hope nobody saw me."  As if that somehow changes the fact that we have fallen...again.  Still, we attempt to conceal what we have done.

The Last Word:

Becky, a Counselor who works here, had pulled into the parking lot behind me.  So I was seen falling after all.  "Chuck, are you all right?"  A Masters degree in counseling, and that's the best question she could come up with?  Well, she did help me find my glasses in the bushes.  And the left lens, which explains the blurriness...

A sore back, a swollen elbow, a bruised hip (and ego), two bloody fingers and a smallish gash on my head.  But no broken cookies, and I didn't spill a drop of Coke, although I did shed some blood.

Just to dispel any rumors, the following is most certainly true:  Yes, I did have a good-sized cut over my left temple.  Yes, it was bleeding and required attention.  Yes, of all days, I was subbing in 2nd grade for the morning today.   Yes, one of the little girls, Emma, did panic when she saw the blood.  Absolutely,  I really dislike subbing in lower grades!  Yes, Mrs. Harris, one of the 2nd grade moms, did wash off the cut and apply a band-aid.  And, yes, to the best of my recollection, she did indeed say that she thought I should see a doctor...and have my head examined.

Women can be so cruel...