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Tuesday, February 17, 2009 |
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Research Project
By Charles Strohacker @ 7:22 PM :: 833 Views :: Education, Humor
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What's the difference between this year's 4th grade class and this year's 3rd grade class?
We had an assembly this morning, one of those free ones offered by the local electric company. They sent out some young people from the The Children's Theater Network who did a terrific job both entertaining our K-5th graders as well as educating them about "Safety and Electricity." I got some good photos and, wanting to send these off to the local newspaper, I needed some help remembering the names of the various characters the young actors portrayed in the play. So I started with our 4th grade...
"Fourth graders, I need some help..."
"Me, me, ooooo me, I'll do it, I can help, me Mr. Strohacker..."
I immediately had eight kids jumping up and down excitedly and offering to help. What a wonderful group!
"You guys don't even know what kind of help I need." It didn't matter to them; they just kept on volunteering.
"Fourth graders, I'm amazed at your willingness to help, but you don't... What if I wanted you to go out on the playground and pick up dog poop?" Yes, that's what I said, and I know that I probably shouldn't have, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. You experienced teachers know what the reaction was.
Yes, they volunteered all the more enthusiastically! In fact, knowing that we might be picking up dog poop actually resulted in an increase in my number of volunteers! "Yes, yes, we want to pick up dog poop!"
The truth of the matter was, remember, that I just needed help recalling the names of the characters from this morning's play...
I repeated this whole process with our third grade. "Third graders, good afternoon, I need some help..."
Only three shy hands went up...and then a fourth sort of went up and down like a yo-yo, no more than shoulder high. Nobody got their hand above their head, and none of the students left their seat. A nice, quiet, well-behaved bunch. I told them about the fourth grade's enthusiasm (the third grade teacher was not surprised - I think he may have even rolled his eyes, and I'm quite sure this is in violation of some sort of new rubric we have at our school), and then I mentioned the part about the dog poop. All hands went down. No helpers in the third grade.
Now, this "research project" does not tell you the difference between 3rd and 4th graders; it only tells you the difference between this year's third grade and fourth grade classes. But you knew that...
The names of the characters from the play? Well, you know that answer already, too, don't you?
Only one or two third graders could remember the name of the female actor, "PJ the Investigative Reporter." Yes, one student said, "PJ, I think?" and another whispered, "Yes, I think PJ..." The others were unsure, and nobody could tell me the name of the male actor when he was dressed as an AEP company lineman. Oh wait, just a minute, there's a hand... "Was it Charlie?"
"I don't know, I'm going back to ask the fourth graders."
The fourth graders on the other hand, although they didn't sit as close to the play as the third grade, had immediately given me PJ's name, "PJ THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER!" seven or eight of them had replied right off. This was followed by a half dozen other fourth graders debating if in fact it wasn't "CJ" or "TJ" perhaps "DJ" but all agreed it was a consonant followed by a 'J'. And, they also knew the name of the actor who impersonated the play's hero, "Louie the Lightening Bug." It was the play's villain, "THE GREAT SANTINNI, THE MAN OF A THOUSAND DISGUISES!" "DAT DAT DAAAAAA...." Yes, they even recalled the musical flourish that always followed the announcement of Santinni's name.
I had to return to their room after visiting third grade because it was in third grade that I recalled that I also needed the lineman's name. "Hi fourth graders, I'm back because..." "No, no, I didn't find any dog poop. Sorry. Oh, I didn't know you had a dog, Sweetie. Yes, I know you like... Well, I think your mother is right; you should use a shovel. No, we really don't have any dog poop out on the playground and.. No, Eli, thanks, but please don't bring any from home... Anyway, kids, there was one more name I just remembered that I needed. When the guy actor was playing an AEP worker..."
"AEP worker?" "Yeah, that was when he put on the hard hat and carried the bullhorn..." "Oh, that was Carl." "No, Jon, it was 'Foreman Carl.'" "It was 'Foreman Carl, the AEP Lineman' you guys!" "Yes, Carl, it was Carl, and he sounded that bullhorn in PJ's ear!" "Yes, I remember, he came out when PJ had Elijah from the fifth grade come up there and hold that "DANGER - ELECTRICITY" sign, and then Eli's arms got tired from holding up the sign." "Yes, and was standing on one foot..."
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