The Top 10 quotes of 2008, as compiled by the editor of the Yale Book of Quotations...and me:
1. "I can see Russia from my house!" — Comedian Tina Fey, while impersonating Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin on the TV comedy show "Saturday Night Live," broadcast Sept. 13.
2. "We have become a nation of whiners." — former Sen. Phil Gramm, an economic adviser to Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain, quoted in The Washington Times, July 10.
3. "Now don't get up on the roof." - Diane Strohacker - Sunday afternoon, December 14, St. Joe, MI.
4. "It's not based on any particular data point, we just wanted to choose a really large number." — a Treasury Department spokeswoman explaining how the $700 billion number was chosen for the initial bailout, quoted on Forbes.com Sept. 23.
4. (tie) "Aaaahhhhhhggggghhhhh...Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Ow, ow, ow, ow..." - Me, on impact with the deck, Sunday afternoon, December 14, 2008.
5. "What were you doing up on the roof, Mr. Strohacker?" - Paramedic Rick, Sunday, December 14.
5. (tie) "We'd better put him on a back board and slide him off the deck and onto the cart. He's a big sucker." Paramedic Chris, December 14.
5. (tie) "Hey, Chuck, how much you weigh, man?" - Paramedic Chris, December 14.
6, "Ohhhhhhhhhh, ufffffffffffff, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, eeeeeeeeeeeeeee, ohhhhhhhhhhhhh........ " Paramedic Chris, again, as they tried to wheel me across my rain-soaked lawn - (serves him right).
7. "Maybe 100." — John McCain, discussing in a town hall meeting in Derry, New Hampshire, how many years U.S. troops could remain in Iraq, Jan. 3.
7. (tie) "What were you doing on the roof?" - First ER Nurse, Lakeland Hospital Sunday, December 14, 2008.
8. "What were you doing up on the roof?" - ER doctor, Sunday, December 14, 2008.
8. (tie) "My wife won't go up there anymore." - That would be me, answering the ER doctor...Sunday, December 14, 2008. She did laugh.
9. "Ohhhh, nooo, that's terrible!" - Nurse's Aide wheeling me up for CAT scan and x-rays, responding to my answer to her question, "What were you doing on the roof?" December 14.
9. (tie) "Ever since Mom fell off the roof two years ago, the responsibility of putting the Christmas lights on the roof has fallen to me." - My answer to Nurses Aide's question: "What were you doing on the roof?" - 12/14/08.
10. "George, you'd better call for a couple of the other guys to help us get this guy off the gurney and onto the table. I think we'll need a back board, and we can just sort of slide him in; he's a big sucker!" - Attendant in the CAT scan room at Lakeland Hospital, Sunday, December 14, 2008.
Lots of nice inquiries and responses from folks concerned about my wellbeing, both physical and mental, ever since my fall. Thanks. Apparently 95% of people know someone who has fallen off a roof or ladder or have personal experience, so I've heard lots of stories. One such e-mail follows; this guy is a few years older than me and a former Lutheran principal. I've omitted his name to spare another fool the embarrassment of it all...
"Chuck, so you were up n the roof doing Christmas lights... I put ours up this year also. It may be the last time.... That's until (wife's name omitted) says, I really do like the icicle lights...
"You have humor over the issue...? Are you going to be OK?
"I can't believe that you only said, 'Aaaahhhhhhggggghhhhh...Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
"I said a lot more when the wind blew my ladder down and I was stranded up on my roof until dusk a few years ago...
"I know, I could have climbed down the TV antenna, but I was so mad that I didn't see it until a month later when I was taking the lights down!!"
****** (writer's name omitted)