Two Stories - a long story and a short story.  I could have also titled this "Bathroom Humor."  But then you may not have read it...

First, the 'long story' - made short. 

"Open Or Closed"

Before spending too much time plunging and unclogging a plugged bathtub...make sure that little lever that opens and closes the drain is in the open position.  Spent most of the morning last Saturday trying to open that drain...and most of the afternoon and evening listening to Diane and Jenny laugh and retell the story to everyone on the phone.  Women can be so cruel...

The 'short story'  -

"On Or Off"

If you choose not to turn on the bathroom light, remember that toothpaste isn't the only thing that comes in a tube.  Yeah, they laughed at me that time, too.

Well, maybe just one more 'long story' -

"Revenge Is Sweet"

Diane's car has been making a funny noise for the past several weeks - a popping sound.  I've heard about it almost daily, but it hasn't made the sound when I've taken a ride with her in the evening.  Not just a 'guy thing' either because she hasn't heard it when we've taken an evening ride together.  A couple of the other ladies on her faculty heard it, too, when the three of them rode together after school one day last week.

I took Diane's car to be gassed and washed yesterday morning before we left for Toledo, and I fixed it by removing the one gallon plastic iced tea jug I found on the floor in back - the tea container Diane usually keeps at school but brings home occasionally to refill.  She forgot it was there a few weeks ago and, with a bit of tea left inside, the sun had produced a little science lesson on expansion and contraction.  Pop pop...and an occasional thunk.

Diane marveled at how I 'fixed' her car - no noise all the way to Toledo and back home yesterday.  She told me this afternoon, however, that her car was making 'that noise' again when she went down to her church for LSW services this morning.  Hmmmmm...  I guess men can be cruel, too.  Perhaps I'll fix it again in a few days.